Winter Ailments

I felt a little flu coming on the other day, so I decided to self-medicate with one of Late Uncle Stevie's favourite juices. I can't count the times that the Old Wild Turkey snuck up on me and rendered me vomiting in the bushes up in Vermont with all abilities of self-propulsion cancelled. However, last night I regulated my dosages carefully and warmed myself by the fire; then lo and behold the cold was gone. I think I will do daily prevention treatements for the rest of the winter as precaution.

For Melanie

Emma can has actually gotten used to walking in her big battle gear snow suit.
Bath time is always...entertaining.
"Chin-chin" is a nightly ritual.
Like father like daughter.

Art

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring
at a portrait that had them totally confused.

The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench.
Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble
interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual
emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, Patriarchal
society.

"In fact," he pointed out, some serious critics believe that the pink penis
also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a young man in a West Virginia T-shirt approached
the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really
about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the
gallery?" asked the couple.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.

"In fact, there are no African Americans depicted at all. They're just
three West Virginia coal miners, and the guy in the middle went home for lunch.

Ped Day

I had to attend another bullshit workshop for the school board last week. I arrived a few minutes late, sat down, and was happily sipping my coffee at a table with a bunch of teachers and ‘upity ups’ from the school board. The discussion had already begun and I was rather disinterested and non-engaged as is usual for me at these events. One of the ‘upity ups’ in my group had just recently completed his PhD and must’ve been thinking himself akin to God the way he was going on and on about strategic develop, school success planning and other educational policy nonsense- jargon-bullshit. Next thing I know he winks at one of his suit and tie wearing counterparts, turns to me and asks with a hint of sarcasm, “what’s your opinion on the subject?”.

"Well," I says, sensing the idiot's attempt to belittle me, "that could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first -- horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff-grass.Yet, a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" Dumbfounded, the ‘upity up’ replies, "I haven't the slightest idea." "So tell me then," I says with a smile, "how is it that you feel qualified to discuss educational policy when you don't know shit?"

Policy on Passports Causing Much Controversy in Upstate NY

Cousin Daryl an ATV flippin', stunt drivin' fool, and friend of mine from Howick sent me this article from the Adirondack Daily Enterprise. Seems like our Quebec Freedom Fries are stirring up some debate in upstate NY.

Hello,

I just thought that you would be interested in this article on how
our local Canadian culture affects US policy.
Looks like the debate about needing a passport between Canada and the
US is heating up because the Democrats have an appetite for Pivin's! 
Check out this quote from the Franklin County Legislature:


"It's a pretty hot topic. A lot of my constituents — we like to go to
Pivins and get hot dogs," said Legislator Dan Crippen, D-Burke,
referring to the old name of the LeBlanc Patate snack bar in
 Huntingdon, Quebec, about 11 miles from the Trout River
border crossing.