Ped Day

I had to attend another bullshit workshop for the school board last week. I arrived a few minutes late, sat down, and was happily sipping my coffee at a table with a bunch of teachers and ‘upity ups’ from the school board. The discussion had already begun and I was rather disinterested and non-engaged as is usual for me at these events. One of the ‘upity ups’ in my group had just recently completed his PhD and must’ve been thinking himself akin to God the way he was going on and on about strategic develop, school success planning and other educational policy nonsense- jargon-bullshit. Next thing I know he winks at one of his suit and tie wearing counterparts, turns to me and asks with a hint of sarcasm, “what’s your opinion on the subject?”.

"Well," I says, sensing the idiot's attempt to belittle me, "that could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first -- horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff-grass.Yet, a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?" Dumbfounded, the ‘upity up’ replies, "I haven't the slightest idea." "So tell me then," I says with a smile, "how is it that you feel qualified to discuss educational policy when you don't know shit?"