Muskrat Stew a-Brew

The dogs had rustled up a fair sized muskrat outback the crick last week. But the buggers done hid it but good and wouldn’t let on where it was. They slipped up yesterday and I caught them both guilty, taking turns rolling in it full out in the barn yard with all the world watching. With the dogs all perfumed up and satisfied for a bit, I managed to trick them out of their catch by offering them up the swill pot from the kitchen clippings and left-overs.

Mister, I didn't realize it at the time, but the dogs had done a good thing by hidin' that old muskrat: they'd aged him just proper; he was real bloated, tender and swelled up just right for the cookin’. I had me a might bit of trouble rustlin’ up a muskrat sized pot for the cookin’ of it. We even went to the trouble of emptying out the crawdaddy traps down the same crick from where that muskrat come to add to the pot-had us a real seafood stew brewing! Goddamn but if that old Muskrat twernt just in the perfect tender state and did it ever make such a great tasting stew after-all. Some things, I guess, are better with a little age to 'em. I actually layed off on givin' the dogs their bedtime kick that night.

Michael Bougon

These five weeks of unemployment have been a real eye opener. Emma is now more connected with me because I actually get to spend time with her and not just show up at 6pm and sit on the couch in a bad mood for 20 minutes before she goes to bed. I figure if Annie and I have 12 more kids over the next 20 years than I only have to work for 10 of those years. However, my new career ambition is to be unemployed as much as possible for the rest of my life, screw the master's degree. Not having to go to some idiot job is wonderful, also collecting all my money that I have been paying all my life to U.I. is very satisfying. And this is not a matter of being a lazy arse because I have been putting in 12 hour days doing a variety of farm related duties. As well I have been saving money on travel expenses and razors. I have also not felt the need to drink as much since I am actually enjoying my days and not trying to forget about them through a brown haze. Last week I had to go to a union meeting and became immediatly nauseated while being exposed to the redundant bullshit. I felt dirty and wanted to get a flu-shot afterwards. Just call me Michael Bougon from now on.

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Wouldn't this be a cool Dukes episode? Here's how the episode guide would read: Moonshine sales are slow, so Uncle Jesse thinks it's high time to let Bo and Luke in on the old family tradition of scrap metal runnin'. With Boss Hogg and Roscoe hot on their tails, the boys and the General are racing against time and the famous outlaw Metal Pickin' Gang in an attempt to clean up Hazzard of old cars and washing machines. Hold onto your seat folks as sparks are flyin' from the git-go (and the quick-cut saw) during this fast-paced, banjo-pickin' scrap metal packed episode!

Producers Note: This episode was loosely based on a time in my life when I was runnin' scrap metal and hunting muskrat in order to support my family during a time of unemployment.

Baby Bottles