Binky on My Space

Looks like Binky has put his-self on the market for a woman who can tolerate the smell of skunk.
http://www.myspace.com/the_real_binky
Imagine how the scenario will unfold when he hooks up with his first....victim? He picks her up in a rather normal looking car, he's a rather normal looking fellow. They say their howdy-doo's and go back to Manor Binky to further the relationship. They pull in the yard, everything is still pretty normal looking from the outside of the house. As soon as she steps out of the car a half dozen stray cats scurry off in different directions. Ian escorts Lady X into the house. More cats. These ones are friendly and skunk scented though. Lady X's eyes grow big and round as she begins to absorb the interior design, furniture and accessories. She is especially wary of the shackle and chain hanging from the ceiling. She begins to feel woozy from the fumes coming off the kerosene heater. Ian excuses himself and walks through a partition of 2X4's to go to the bathroom; of course Lady X can see everything that happens in the bathroom due to the lack of wall(s).

Here are some questions that I imagine she might have for her newly met man:
Why does it smell like skunk in here?
What is that carcass cooking in the oven?
Why is there 5 cases of large caliber ammunition on the kitchen table?
How many guns do you own and why are they all within reach?
Why is there a motorcycle in your living room?
Have you ever been arrested?
What is that scratching noise coming from under the floor?
Are there any bodies buried on your property?
Can I go home now?

As she poses these questions, Ian starts cursing, loading a rifle and begins to blast through an open window at a herd of cattle that have unfortunately come too close to his perimeter. Lady X makes a hasty exit through the back door, she's running for cover as the din of semi-automatic gunfire continues and begins to mingle with Ian's curses about mad cow disease and something about cow-patties and his new lawn mower. She is looking for a hiding place as she encounters Cousin Grover just finishing up in the Fisher Price Shit House (TM); he's wearing a Happy Bear Housecoat and a rainbow coloured 4 foot long tuque on his head. Lady X probably will delete The Real Binky from her "Friend" list.